1. Oprah. Yeah. I get it. You're successful. Now stop rubbing it in people's faces and get a life. And really, you're magazine is called "O"? Could you be any less humble? And isn't that the name of your new channel, too? Wow...
2. David Letterman. You're not funny. Okay? Not. Funny.
3. John Mayer. You're creepy. Your songs are creepy. Your hair is creepy. Your voice is creepy. You need to take a shower. Go do that... Then wash your mouth out with a bar of soap and stop writing creepy songs. I don't want to hear about it.
4. Tom Felton. Dude. You play Draco Malfoy! One of the best bad guys of all time! Chill out and be more outgoing! And... maybe take a page from Draco's book. At least throw stuff at people to show them that you can be evil. You have it in you, I know you do. Now show it!
5. The local news anchor (who's name I'll leave out). You're old and I think you probably smell weird. What happened to just being on the commercials? I could change the channel then. I don't want to hear your voice while learning about the latest gadgets. You obviously have no clue what they are. Stop pretending. And when they bring in animals from the shelter, at least pretend like you care! You act as if these animals are diseased! You won't even touch them. All they want is love, and there you sit, cringing away from them. Seriously man, just retire.
Dom
#2 and #5 are my favorites- but I agree with all of them :)...Especially #5, he really does look like he smells weird...
ReplyDelete